"The prince of this world has tried me and has found nothing in me." Imagine if Bill Clinton, Dominique Strauss Khan, Eliot Spitzer, Mike Tyson, Tiger Woods all had people they could be accountable to.
Why should you be accountable?
1. Keeps you away from excesses - We all have the tendency to go overboard as humans especially when you have subjected yourself to your flesh and that was why one
of the foremost Jewish missionaries of all time Paul of Tarsus said 'I put my body under and make it obey me lest when I have witnessed to others I become a cast away.' It
has been discovered that passionate leaders are also men of high sex drive and that is why it is so easy for a leader to sleep with several woman who are under him and they
would all keep quiet until nemesis catches up with him.
Have you asked yourself the purpose of a balcony in a house or the purpose of road dividers? All those measures are put in place so that we don't go overboard.
2. Saves you from illicit relationships – One of my accountability partners was holding me accountable one day and had noticed one of my female mentees and was asking me questions about her closeness to me and he said
something that stuck with me: 'Unchecked proximity will breed immorality'. That brought me back to life because it suddenly dawned on me that we can all get carried away by our quest to assist people that we wouldn't know at what
point we have removed our boundaries of protection. Who
are the people around you that can question your closeness to certain people especially the opposite sex and who you can be honest with?
A Jewish Proverb says 'If you fail in the days of adversity you are a bad specimen' Truth is a lot of leaders are trying so hard to hide their weaknesses from their followers so that they can retain the respect and authority they have over the people. You can't be an effective leader if your effectiveness is measured by the people that pay obeisance to you.
3. Increased Integrity - Integrity has been defined as the alignment of your words, thoughts and actions and it saves the day at all times. The greatest challenge many of us have
is that we feel we would lose respect when we open up our challenges but on the contrary you actually gain more respect because it takes a great man to confess his faults. He
that covers his faults will not prosper, but whosoever confesses and forsakes shall have mercy. I have people I run to when my personal strength can no longer carry me and that is why I often counsel people that they should allow their friends (mentors) carry them. We all have seasons of
strengths and weaknesses and the test of true friendship is when you are able to carry your friend in moments of despair. Never try to protect your position or status. Look
for help everywhere you can find it and you would realize that your stocks will rise afterwards.
4. It fosters effective self examination – A wise man once
said 'unbridled freedom may seem like a great blessing but it can also be a recipe for disaster'. The moment you become superman that no one is holding accountable there
is no way you won't get into error.
In my study of great leaders who fell into sexual compromise I realised that many of them started so well but at some point became larger than life and the moment they
stopped being accountable it was so easy to mess up. I realise that too many leaders are just using followership as ego booster so that more people can respect you. That they are coming to your meetings doesn't really make you the
leader. Can they really see through you? Is their perception of you the reality or you are a spider man?
5. It sustains and multiplies your success – A lot of followers would respect a leader who holds himself by higher standards and who doesn't rationalise his faults and
mistakes. There was the story of a certain coach who had started sleeping with some of the young girls in his team in the US. Then one of his younger protégées went to see him and gently told him that the story is spreading with a suggestion for him to get help only for this leader to attack the younger guy for having the audacity to question the way he was living his life and dropped him from his backroom
staff. Of course that leader went into error and today is an object of ridicule and scorn in many circles. Accountability never kills; it protects you.
6. You attract God's mercy – I love that proverb of Solomon that says 'He that covers his sins won't prosper but he that confesses and forsakes shall have mercy.' There
is no point going ahead in error or making a doctrine out of what is out rightly clear to all. The fall in most cases is not what kills the strong but the quest to cover up.
There is nothing happening or that has happened to you that has not happened before and a lot of men who learnt to deal with their issues early enough have been rescued from what would have consumed them.
Never get to that level where there are no people in your life that you can be accountable to and don't ever get to that level where you feel you have become an island of revelation. Every counselor needs a counselor just like every leader needs a leader.
Always remember that for it to be a sex scandal it must first of all be a secret because you can't be scandalized with what is an open secret and that is why you don't have to wait before your secret busts into the open; you need to open up
and get help. The weight of your secret sins is a direct reflection of the depth of your compromise. What weight have you been carrying? Are you still the same leader or you are now a spider-man living a dual life?
I often say to leaders that every man is only a foolish decision away from misbehaving and in actual fact there are no strong men really; you only have well positioned men because a man who positions himself in the area of his weakness will fall no matter his determination.
Every sexual misbehaviour needs an ideal environment for it to happen.
I have often wondered why nobody pounces on a girl to have sex in an open place. For sex to happen
you must have been found in the kind of situation we call
questionable privacy and that is why structure is quite
critical to you staying above sex scandals.
Praise Fowowe is a Sexuality
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