Every Guy's Struggle. Part 3

We also discovered something about the power of Jesus' death on the cross. We came to realize that Jesus not only died for our sins, but he also died for our guilt and shame. Up to that point, guilt and shame were like an enormous weight I dragged around wherever I went. But Jesus' death meant I didn't have to drag around that weight. What an amazing truth!

Answering My Prayer

I'm now a freshman at a Christian college. A friend of mine from last year's accountability group also attends this school, and we decided to start a group like the one we had back home. This new group is not only helping us with our struggles, it's also helping us grow closer to God.

I must be honest and say that I haven't gained total control over lust. I don't believe that will happen until I get to heaven. But I'm doing much better than I was a few years ago. I'm becoming more like Joseph: God is answering that prayer I prayed my junior year.

Most importantly, God is changing my heart. And it really is about turning to God. When I fill my mind and my heart with thoughts of him, and with the things he loves and desires, there really isn't room for much of anything else.

*name has been changed

A Message for the Girls

Are you shocked by Mark's struggle? Don't be. Mark isn't alone in dealing with lust. He's not weird, sick or a pervert. Mark's just more candid about this issue than many of our Christian brothers are comfortable being with us girls.

For guys, much of the battle is on the visual front. Guys tend to become sexually stimulated by what they see. Like Mark, many of them fight desperately to keep pure thoughts while they are surrounded by sexual images.

When he spoke to Campus Life, Mark shared that he'd like girls to read Every Young Man's Battle: Strategies for Victory in the Real World of Sexual Temptation by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker (Waterbrook Press, 2002). Even though this book is written for young men, Mark says, "It will really help girls to respect how difficult it is for guys to be God-honoring in this area of our lives."

Don't get me wrong: We're each responsible to God for ourselves. It's a guy's responsibility to gain control over his thoughts and actions. That's between him and God. But the way we girls dress can help our Christian brothers maintain pure thoughts—or it can make their struggle with lust more difficult.

I'd encourage you to take responsibility for what you wear. With the help of your mom, a friend, your brothers or even your dad, look through your closet and ask yourself if each item there helps or hurts your male friends in their quest for purity. It's something to think about when you're trying on clothes at the mall, too.

By paying attention to how we dress, we're doing more than helping our Christian brothers. We're preparing ourselves to attract guys who will want to be with us for the right reasons.

 

—LaTonya Taylor

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5 Traits of A Good Man

BY FARRAH GRAY
1. PROMISES –  A man's word is his currency.  A respectable  man is a man of his word. He says what he means and means what he says. His word is his bond. A good man will keep his promises to his woman. He won't break dates and be a no call and no show. He will not play with your emotions.  He remembers to call you when he says he will. A man who values his woman keeps his promises. That is the way he shows that he cares.
2.  Intimacy is something that is natural to human nature. However, pressuring a woman whom he just met for sex is not of a good man's nature. A man who has any intentions of being a good mate to you does not pressure you for sex when he meets you. A woman is not a vehicle to be driven. Her body does not need to be test driven. A woman is a gift from God, and her time, attention and affection should be appreciated, not taken for granted. If a woman meets a man who wants to test drive her physical body, emotions and feelings, it's best that she point him to a car dealership, bid him goodbye and don't look back! A woman deserves a good man who will respect her.3. A good man will let a woman know what place she has in his life. He will give you a title, whether that title be friend, girlfriend, boo, woman, lady, or wife, he will introduce you as such. He will introduce you according to how he feels about a woman, no surprises. Good men in general tend to be very protective. We mark our territory. If a good man loves you, he is willing to profess it to others.4.  A good man is not a selfish man. He puts his woman first and is always sure to address any issues or concerns that she may have. A good man desires to do things that make his woman happy. The opinions of his lady count to him. He understands that a happy wife means a happy life.5.  When a good man wakes up in the morning, his mission is to make sure that his family is taken care of in every way, to the best of his ability. He wants to make sure his woman is happy and satisfied. Providing for the people he loves and cares about, whether it's financially or with sweat equity, it's all a part of a good man's DNA. A good man has no limits to the things he provides for those he loves.
* A good man believes in uplifting his community, whether that be in terms of mentorship, volunteering his time or allowing himself to be an image that youth can look up to.  The people in his life label him as a good man. * A good man has a desire to protect and provide for his woman. Even if he may currently not have the financial ability to provide for a woman he still has a deep desire to. If he doesn't want to see his mother working diligently chances are he does not want to see his woman work diligently either.
www.stoneorigin.net

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