"I planned on waiting for marriage. But “worldly” feelings got the best of me"

It's been a year and four days since the dreadful day that I went against everything I believed in. I sinned against God, against myself and against my family. You see, I was brought up in a very strict Christian environment and I knew pre marital sex was wrong which made what I did 1000 times worse because I sinned knowingly.
Losing my virginity has caused many problems in my life. For the longest time I cried myself to sleep, I felt dirty and ashamed of myself. A few days ago I finally mustered up enough courage to go and get tested for STD's. I'm still waiting for the results.I know God has forgiven me, I'm sure he did the very first time I asked for forgiveness. But I'm having a very hard time forgiving myself. You see I was 21 at the time that I lost my virginity. And all the 21 years of my life I planned on waiting for marriage. But "worldly" feelings got the best of me, lust controlled me, and I lost all sight of what my morals, beliefs, standards were.I cannot erase my past, I cannot go back in time and redo it. The only thing left to do is to learn from my mistake, and start over again. It just kills me that what I used to say was going to be my wedding gift for my husband on the night of our wedding, is no longer possible.Please people think long and hard before you do something that will have an affect on the rest of your life. This is not something that you get over easily.Have the strength to listen to God, listen to your heart and say "NO."I posted a life story similar to this sometime ago on facebook and a friend of my accosted me saying" its too late to tell youths of nowadays this" and I replied. Its never too late. Even if its just a soul that changes, have the right mindset and live life with caution, it'll go a long way.
Though the decision of maintaining sexual purity for a reasonable period isn't just a matter of your decision. It takes the grace of God.
This young lady shares her story and hopes we learn from it.
Life certainly moves on.
"Think long and hard before you do something that will have an affect on the rest of your life".
This is also applicable to other aspects of our lives, be it our lifestyle, our habits or our career.

Sent from my BlackBerry wireless device from MTN