I couldn't fully work through this challenge using the objective lens, but when I got deeper into subjective reality, I saw that I could solve this problem. I was harboring all the shame and guilt within me, and so it was showing up in my external reality in the form of judgment -- not to mention repelling these desires from actually showing up.An attitude that has helped me through many challenges like this is curiosity. I become curious as to what might happen if I released my inner resistance to a particular desire. So in this case, I began to reason that it may in fact be possible to invite and experience certain desires -- if I could only let go of my inner resistance. After all, having a threesome shouldn't be that difficult. All it takes is a couple of willing partners, so how difficult could it be?I pushed myself to work through that resistance, including sharing some of my interests on my blog before I had really worked through my inner resistance. That attracted plenty of judgment from others, but I was fine with that because I wanted to work through it anyway. When I saw my own self-judgments reflected back to me in the form of email feedback from others, it helped me see how it was all a reflection of what I was creating internally.I also saw how silly these judgments were. For instance, some people equated sexual exploration with abuse. How can it be abusive if it's openly consensual and if everyone feels good about it afterwards? Other people felt it was perverse. But perverse means wrong or wicked, which is merely a relative judgment based on personal tastes. It didn't take long to see just how feeble this opposition was.As I let go of these judgments, my desires grew stronger, louder, and clearer. It was like turning down a noisy radio. As I shed the resistance, I felt a calm attraction to exploring threesomes, if only to satisfy my curiosity. Yes, it can be intensely sexual, but it can also be really beautiful and loving -- a way for people to come together and open their hearts. It's all about people making each other feel good.Soon my inner resistance withered to the point where I just felt happy and enthusiastic when I thought about certain sexual desires. I felt much more congruent about inviting them in -- not 100% perfectly congruent, mind you -- but enough that I felt like I could make this a reality without blocking it.And really that's all it took. As I changed my vibe in this part of my life, I became naturally more playful, flirtatious, and less tense. I found it very easy to invite a threesome, got a yes on the first try, and it was a delightful experience. That happened years ago. It was different than what I expected -- way better in fact. I thought it would be very sexual, and it was, but even more than that it was immensely loving. I felt such a blissful explosion of energy in my heart.As I continued to go down this path, I identifying more desires and then applied the broadcasting test. Whatever I worried would happen if I were to broadcast a new desire or interest, that became my pointer to the inner resistance I needed to work through. Once I released enough of that internal resistance, my desires tended to show up with relative ease.What's even more interesting to me though is that as I became internally congruent with my desires, my external world became more congruent and supportive as well. Nowadays I experience very little resistance to creating loving connections with the people in my life. My friends and business partners know what I'm into, and they're fine with it. In fact, many of them have told me about their own intimate explorations after seeing that I was on a similar journey.By opening up so much, I encourage others around me to do the same. Since I worked through my own resistance in this area, the other people in my simulation seem non-resistant as well. These days I receive a negligible amount of criticism or negative feedback with respect to these interests. Mostly what I receive are connection invites from like-minded people as well as general positive feedback and some how-to questions.I hope you can even see the logic of why this works. When you become congruent with a desire and feel good about broadcasting it openly, it makes perfect sense that you're going to get better results. Other people who share similar desires will finally become aware of your shared interests.What I find most amusing is that after I open up about something publicly, people that I've known for a long time will finally confess to me that they have similar desires. As long as I felt incongruent or conflicted, they didn't feel comfortable sharing that with me. Or if I kept silent, they didn't know if they could trust me not to be judgmental. So they kept quiet too. But when I open up, they open up. In other words, when I get myself aligned with a desire, the simulation brings it to me.What desires are you still ashamed of? What do you fear broadcasting publicly? What's stopping you? The resistance "out there" isn't an issue at all. The only issue for you to resolve is your own inner alignment.
Curled From StevePavlina.com
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